June 8, 2009 by ian
Search engines are changing from web indexes to content aggregators. Remember the good old days, when a higher ranking meant more traffic from a search engine? Well, those days may soon be gone. Search engines are scraping content from your sites and embedding it in their own search results (aggregating). And they're doing it more and more. Microsoft's Bing is the latest example of search engines as aggregators, rather than indexes. Go to Bing.com, search for 'LA Lakers', and you get a list of results. Roll over a search result, though, and you get a detailed look at the content…
Continue Reading Aggregation Aggravation: Part 1 »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 18, 2009 by ian
The fastest, easiest way to improve sales on your site? Reduce your shopping cart bailout rate. A 'bailout' (aka an abandonment) occurs when someone starts the checkout process, then leaves without completing their purchase. It's like someone got in line at the grocery store and then left their pears, diet soda and last-minute junk food purchases rolling around on the conveyor. Here are 8 things you can change, right now, to reduce cart abandonment: Dump the registration. I don't know why I still have to say this. Don't make people register to buy stuff from you. It's like you're waving…
Continue Reading 9 Ways to Reduce Cart Abandonment »
comments (10) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 25, 2009 by ian
I read a great post today about a tricky link-building technique. The technique is totally legit, builds links from a major domain, and is pure gold. Of course, now that's it's been published, 150,000 other people will immediately run out, abuse the hell out of it, make Google take notice, and flush the entire technique down the toilet. I am all for sharing information. I do a lot of it on this blog. But before you publish that secret technique, think about whether you're: A journalist, reporting on happenings in the industry; or An internet marketing professional with a responsibility…
Continue Reading Are we journalists, or marketing professionals? »
comments (8) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 25, 2009 by ian
This is a quick preview of the webinar I'm running tomorrow. Marketing departments that used to sniff at internet marketing are now falling over themselves trying to shift dollars from offline to online marketing. I believe the thinking is that online marketing will get them a better return for less dollars in a tight economy. Okaaaay... While it's certainly a solid strategy to move online, it pays to put a little thought into it, first: Verify your infrastructure. Before you shift dollars from offline to online, make sure you can actually take care of all those online customers. Do you…
Continue Reading 5 Tips For Moving Your Offline Marketing Budget Online »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 25, 2009 by ian
I'll spare you the sales pitch. You can read about the webinar here. It's free, and should be a fun session. I'll be talking about transitioning offline marketing dollars online.…
Continue Reading Free Webinar Tomorrow: Moving your offline marketing budget to the Internet »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 23, 2009 by ian
Note! This post has caused a kerfuffle! Read it at your own risk! I'm getting ready for tomorrow's Northwest Entrepreneur Network meeting. I have to give some opening remarks, and as always I find it a little easier if I write down my thoughts. The panel is about 'Social Media' and 'Social Networking'. Love the concept. Hate the terms. Before we all get swept up in the hype around social this and media that, it pays to step back, take a deep breath, and get some perspective: First, the phrase is ridiculous. Have you ever heard of 'anti-social media'? Second,…
Continue Reading Anti-Social Media »
comments (16) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 7, 2009 by ian
Your boss comes to you and says "I need [insert seemingly impossible request here]." What do you do? You can deluge your already harried superiors with questions, until you all give up in frustration. Or, you can (gasp) research, analyze and solve the problem. Not many people know how to do this. Your brain is 3 pounds of problem-solving muscle. Exercise it regularly and you'll go far. Here's how: Get into the right frame of mind. Problem solving is fun. You're about to learn something cool. Go for a quick walk, or listen to the sound track of 300 to…
Continue Reading 10 Ways To Think For Yourself: A Geek's Guide to Problem Solving »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 22, 2009 by ian
"OK, but how do we know what you did helped our business? Maybe it was a coincidence." Just writing that caused me to hurt my head pounding it against the bulkhead of this airplane. I'm currently on an Alaska Airlines 737, en route back to Seattle after a travel week that felt like someone was repeatedly kicking me in the tenders. Once the nice flight attendant determined I hadn't gone insane and was about to start belting out Stevie Wonder tunes while ripping off my clothing, she cautiously headed up the aisle to resume glaring balefully at anyone who…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing is About The Narrative »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
November 3, 2008 by ian
Update: I'm going! See you there! Jeremy Schoemaker and his gang of internet marketing geeks just opened their second annual Elite Retreat for registration. It's expensive. Really expensive. So expensive that if you have to ask, you may as well move on. But it's the best dollars you can spend, because: Jeremy Schoemaker earns money hand over fist. Online. With a computer and stuff. We're talking great big gobs of cash, not little bits here and there. He's one of the speakers. Aaron Wall, SEO guru, is another speaker. Kris Jones, Mr. PepperJam Network, is another speaker. Neil Patel, marketing…
Continue Reading 12 Reasons to Go to the Elite Retreat »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 23, 2008 by ian
There's a difference between mythology and marketing. Mythology is what makes people say "I don't know why, but I just need a web site". Or "We should add some social media stuff to our site". Marketing is what makes people say "We have a national audience. A web site will help us reach them". Or "Our customers want to talk to each other. Let's add a comments feature." Mythology makes blogs seems like their own unique place on the web. Marketing means applying blogs as a unique way to manage content (which is really all they are). Mythology makes people…
Continue Reading Of Mythology and Marketing »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 13, 2008 by ian
If you read my previous post, you know I'm pretty angry right now. I don't like seeing good people get lousy service, especially when it hurts the future of their business. So I've channeled that anger into a list of things that any competent internet marketing type should include in an online store. If you're entrusting your online business to a designer or developer, then ask them to write this list down. If they miss any items, you hire them at your own risk. A good online store must: Not require that customers log in to check out. Explain to…
Continue Reading 17 Features for E-Commerce Success »
comments (14) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 13, 2008 by ian
Please don't take this personally, unless you're a crappy developer, in which case I don't care. For less rant and more information, see 17 Features for E-Commerce Success. I'm angry (angrier). I am sick of the following story: Client hires developer to build e-commerce site. Developer nods vigorously when asked if they know how to build a store that actually, you know, sells stuff. Developer lets no one see the site during construction. Site launches and is a total disaster. Developer asks for more money to fix the product of his/her own mental retardation. 12 years ago, I could…
Continue Reading E-Commerce Lessons (a rant) »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 25, 2008 by ian
John McCain took a big gamble yesterday, saying he was suspending his campaign until Congress could work out the $700 billion bailout plan. It was a bad gamble, because he violated 4 of the 5 basic rules of crisis marketing. I usually apply these rules to internet marketing, but they tend to work everywhere: 1: Don't Contradict Yourself Without Explanation First rule: If you said "the fundamentals of the economy are strong" two weeks ago, don't turn around and say "Holy crap, this is a disaster!" You start sounding like Herbert Hoover, you confuse your audience, and you start…
Continue Reading 5 Tips for Crisis Marketing: The Perils of Being McCain »
comments (7) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 19, 2008 by ian
I am sick of social media. Social this. Social that. Everyone asks me whether I ‘do social media’, and it's hard to resist the urge to caper around like a lunatic yelling “Am I being social? Am I?! Then quick, call the media!!!!” I hate the phrase, the concept and the need for sound bites and catchphrases that spawned it. Sigh. But it’s still important, so I’ve developed a routine that lets me steadily build my credibility in various social media outlets. Remember, social media is partly based on reputation. Build your reputation by contributing to the community, and…
Continue Reading 5 Daily Social Media Builders In Less Than 10 Minutes (Total!) »
comments (20) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 10, 2008 by ian
Real branding is really hard, and I suck at it. So, I've had to come up with simpler, faster ways to make sure that, when I'm hired to do some internet marketing, I don't pick up a client's brand, rip it into a thousand tiny pieces and shove it into the garbage disposal. Here's a quick test I use to see if my brand assumptions are on track: The Hiring Test Imagine you're hiring your very first employee. Figure out three phrases that describe the perfect hire. Make sure they're more specific than 'fast' or 'smart'. For example, at Portent…
Continue Reading Branding In 30 Seconds »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 29, 2008 by ian
Hi Senator. Not a fan, but I am an admirer. Please don't hate me if I don't vote for you this November. I do have some advice for you, though. Events are catching up to you online, fast. In the last hour I've watched stories about your running mate sink into the blogging world, and watched bloggers latch onto them like rabid schnauzers. So, go do a few things asap: Buy the word 'creationism' in Google Adwords. Point it at a page that explains Sarah Palin's views, and why they won't mean a Federal mandate (or will, if you prefer)…
Continue Reading 5 Social Media Things John McCain Should Be Doing RIGHT NOW »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 29, 2008 by ian
Yo, Barack. Loved the speech. I've got a little advice: Since you're worried (I'm sure you are) about conservative Democrats fleeing to McCain, why not Digg and otherwise promote any and all stories about his new running mate's uber-conservative political views? If those stories move up on Digg, they'll get more attention. Then they'll move up elsewhere. A Google search on creationism already displays a news article about her. Keep up the momentum. Boost visibility of discussions about unhappy conservatives. Take a page from McCain's book. Link to the Daily Kos' survey of GOP members talking about the ticket. Buy…
Continue Reading 5 Social Media Things Barack Obama Should Be Doing RIGHT NOW »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 28, 2008 by ian
The worst mistake in internet marketing? Making things too complicated. It pumps up costs, slows site launches and keeps you offline when you could be online, selling stuff. Who makes that mistake? You do. When you insist that that one feature is so important you can't live without it, you're killing yourself. If you can get 90% of the function with 10% of the effort, shouldn't you? So, here's a list of features I think your site can probably do without, at least for now: Integration with your inventory management system. If you're already selling lots online, great! Spend the…
Continue Reading 15 Features Your Site Doesn't Need »
comments (10) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 26, 2008 by ian
I've been fighting this sinking feeling that we're headed for another four years (or eight) of a Republican President. Not that I have anything against John McCain except that I'll never vote for him. But I'm a pretty staunch Democrat, and it'd be nice to blame my own party for the world's problems for a change. In the last presidential election, I formulated a theory that the most social media-savvy party would win. John Kerry and the DNC pretty much screwed the pooch every chance they got. Bush, on the other hand, had some remarkably media-savvy folks doing everything from…
Continue Reading The Democrats Lose: Comparing the Convention Web Sites »
comments (19) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 19, 2008 by ian
Folks keep asking me whether I'm an SEO professional. Not exactly - I'm an internet marketing pro. So why, they ask, do you spend so much time worrying about search rankings, pay per click and keywords? Let me put it into pictures. Imagine the internet is a goldfish bowl, and traffic is food: Search engines dominate traffic, customers, conversions and everything else that matters. Design that Flash-only site if you want. Put your text into images because it looks better. But I'll still laugh at you when you get zero business. Any questions?…
Continue Reading Search Engines Are the Biggest Goldfish »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 11, 2008 by ian
Monster trucks. Why? But about a Seattle's worth of people go to these shows every year. A lot of people think monster trucks are really cool. I may not agree, but I doubt those folks would be all that excited at my taste in video games. So we're even. As marketers, we have to get past our own biases and attitudes. We need to use personas and other tools to get into our audience's heads. Otherwise, we may miss the best message, the best keywords or the best product presentation. Most important, we'll miss the real value that the…
Continue Reading MONSTER JAM: NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!! »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 21, 2008 by ian
Social media and SEO are now inextricably linked. You couldn't separate 'em if you tried. I used to tell clients "Hey, we'll do SEO, and if you pay us extra we'll execute a nice social media marketing campaign, too". Truth is, though, you can't do a good job in SEO any more without social media marketing. And you sure as heck won't succeed in social media marketing if you ignore SEO. SEO Needs Social Media Search engine optimization, at its core, is based on relevance and authority. Relevance comes from content that has the right keywords and concepts. What's…
Continue Reading You Can't Separate Social Media and SEO »
comments (24) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 17, 2008 by ian
I'm ranting again. I got up bright and early this morning to try and grab some good domains in the big .ME landrush. I was pleasantly surprised when I landed about 2/3 of the domains I wanted. GoDaddy charged my PayPal account, sent me order confirmations and said "Hey! Good job!". Then, a few hour laters, they started sending me these: Evil? Probably not. Stupid? Definitely I don't think GoDaddy would be stupid enough to bait-and-switch, grabbing domains folks try to buy and then selling them at a premium at auction. But I do think they were stupid enough to…
Continue Reading The .ME Bait-and-Switch: GoDaddy Screws Up »
comments (7) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 19, 2008 by ian
Today's post will be very short. Potential clients ask me more and more, "Why should I spend $10,000 [or any other amount] on internet marketing every month? What will I get for it?" I don't know. I'll say it again: I. Don't. Know. I can no more predict the results of an internet marketing campaign than I can predict the price of oil 10 years from now. There are no guarantees. So, when you ask this annoying, annoying question, you give me 2 choices: I can lie. Or I can be honest and lose the job to the next guy,…
Continue Reading Justifying Internet Marketing »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 10, 2008 by ian
I spent the morning trying not to pop every blood vessel in my head. My blood pressure increased as I had to dump first one, then a second hosting company in a period of 8 hours. I won’ go into the details. It’s still too painful. What little stomach lining is left needs some time to recover. Suffice it to say I ignored my Four Rules For Picking A Hosting Company. Site hosting is critical to an internet marketing campaign. If your servers choke, you get no customers. If your hosting company’s tech support is clueless, you'll lose time (which…
Continue Reading How To: Choose a Hosting Company That Won't Drive You Insane »
comments (10) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 5, 2008 by ian
Every internet marketing decision you delay wastes money. "But Iannnnn," you say, "What if I'm wrong? People will laugh at me!" It's true, I may laugh at you. It makes me feel better. But do some math: Decide to invest $10,000 in internet marketing campaigns. 50% are successful. 50% fail. The failures cost you $5,000. Ouch! Fire the damned internet marketer! He's a moron. But wait: The successes, earning a modest 2:1 ROI, earned you $10,000. You broke even. Get a more reasonable 3:1 ROI and you earned $15,000 with a $10,000 investment. Plus, next time around, you know what…
Continue Reading The Internet Marketing DO List: Get Earning, Stop Talking »
comments (7) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 4, 2008 by ian
I've never heard anyone say "Gosh, I sure am looking forward to hiring an internet marketing agency!" Mostly they mutter something and shuffle past, sure they're doomed. It doesn't have to be that way. I've talked a bit about this before, but I just recorded this talk/video/slideshow that goes into it in some depth: You can also grab it off my iTunes Podcast feed once it updates, or from my direct podcast feed. There remains nothing worse, for me at least, than having to listen to my own voice. I hear every throat-clearing and flubbed phrase. If it's as bad…
Continue Reading How To: Hire and Work With an Internet Marketing Agency »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 28, 2008 by ian
I haven't read a marketing book in a while. After wading through the stack of titles on my nightstand I'd gone on a literary vacation, rereading old Foxtrot anthologies instead. But branding has always been a puzzle for me. How do you turn a concept into a story into a brand? That people actually care about? So when I got David Vinjamuri's book - Accidental Branding - in the mail, I dove in. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's an engrossing read, following the stories of seven well-known companies and their leaders. Vinjamuri met and interviewed each of them, so the…
Continue Reading How To Create A Brand - Accidental Branding Book Review »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 22, 2008 by ian
StumbleUpon can provide a valuable boost to an internet marketing campaign: It can indirectly lift link building efforts. A lot. Read on and I'll explain how it works, how I researched this, and how you can get the same benefits. What Is StumbleUpon? Skip this section if you already know this. StumbleUpon is half site, half toolbar. You create an account online, then download their toolbar. From then on, you can give sites you visit a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down': You can also click the 'Stumble!' button to see what other folks liked. As you like/dislike those sites,…
Continue Reading StumbleUpon Traffic IS Worth Something: Links »
comments (13) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 19, 2008 by ian
You can succeed in internet marketing without learning every facet of the business. You can do it the same way you succeed in, say, brain surgery if you're not a surgeon. Or in car repair if you're not a mechanic. You find someone who's good at it. You pay them. You succeed. It's the "good at it" part that can be rough. Matt McGee sent me this gem from YouTube today, where an SEO expert novice B.S. artist tells the audience that '305 links will get them a pagerank of 5 on Google'. She must be smoking the best weed…
Continue Reading 3 Steps to Internet Marketing Success (Without Becoming an Expert) »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 13, 2008 by ian
Let's face it. Customers are a pain in the ass. Always asking for annoying things like service, honesty, quality. Always whining if they don't get what they want. Well, you're in luck. Here's my 13-step process for making sure your customers hate you. Just build these features into your web site. They're like an internet marketing mullet: 1: The Flash Intro I've written about this three times now. Somehow people still argue with me, saying that 120 seconds of totally pointless dancing raisins, spinning squares and cheesy, porn-inspired music loops is a good marketing tactic. It's not. It's. Just. Not.…
Continue Reading 13 Ways To Generate Customer Hate »
comments (52) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 7, 2008 by ian
Internet Marketing isn't all misery and torture. So, in honor of National Grump Out Day, I dug deep and celebration-worthy advances in our industry: Analytics: No Longer Death By Details Two years ago, "analytics" meant "hope for the best". Lousy interfaces, slow reports, moronic support staff and high costs drove us all crazy. There haven't been any revolutionary changes since then. But industry consolidation, for once, may have been a good thing: The state of the art is far easier to use, runs faster, and (apart from the last week) very reliable. A lot of this, I think, is because…
Continue Reading 5 Internet Marketing Advances I Like, and What They Mean To You »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
April 28, 2008 by ian
In internet marketing, loathing beats fear any day. Loathing means you've evoked a passionate response. It also means someone out there loves you, too. Fear means you hide in a virtual corner, not letting anyone see you. Maybe no one hates you. No one loves you, either. Hiding In The Corner I've heard many CEOs and other businesspeople tell me they don't want to 'expose themselves to negative press' on the internet. They're afraid, and they don't want to put too much information about themselves or their organizations online, lest they arm detractors with juicy tidbits. So, they cower in…
Continue Reading Fear Or Loathing: Take Your Pick »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
April 21, 2008 by ian
It's tempting to offer stuff for free to lure in customers. And it can work (sometimes). Overused, it'll actually lead to unhappy customers, not happy ones. Here's how my family's new pets re-taught me this lesson. The Guinea Pigs Hated Me My kids persuaded me to adopt a pair of guinea pigs: Gandalf (my son's) and Crystal (my daughter's). First, I did not name Gandalf. That was entirely Harrison. With maybe a smidge of prompting by me. Second, I sort of encouraged them to persuade me to adopt the guinea pigs. Sue me. I am a definite animal lover. I…
Continue Reading Be Careful With 'Free': Guinea Pigs Teach Internet Marketing »
comments (6) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
April 17, 2008 by ian
Marketing is not about lying or cheating, or tricking consumers into wanting what they think you've got (even if you don't). So what is it? I've briefly opened my psyche's closet doors, shoved back the "Haven't studied for finals" nightmare, knocked out the three-headed monster that keeps yelling "Ian, the clowns are coming" and even dodged past my daughter marrying the leader of a right-wing biker gang to bring you my definition of marketing. I use this definition to test my assumptions, and keep myself honest: My Definition of Marketing Marketing: Giving authentic, compelling information to the right audience the…
Continue Reading What's Marketing? Peek Into A Marketer's Pysche »
comments (12) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
April 7, 2008 by ian
5 lessons religion can teach internet marketers: Have a tall steeple (or something similar). Make sure folks can find you when they're ready. Discoverability is the name of the game. Tell a good story. Have a compelling narrative about your brand. That way, when folks arrive they'll want to stay. Practice what you preach. Cough. OK, religions don't always do that well on this score. To succeed, though, you'd better know whereof you speak. That means believing in what you're selling. Let the believers do the marketing. Your happy customers can go out and tell their friends about you. They'll…
Continue Reading 5 Lessons Religion Can Teach Internet Marketers »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
April 4, 2008 by ian
If you're looking for an internet marketing firm that'll guarantee results, you're probably making a mistake. In this business, anyone who guarantees results is sneaky at best. There's fine print somewhere. A internet marketer can no more guarantee the results of a campaign than predict the weather. If I were marketing to computers, I could learn the system and guarantee the outcome. But I'm not helping you convince automatons. I'm helping you: Tell a great story; About a great product; To the folks who want it; When they want it. And those 'folks' are human beings. They're fickle buggers. If…
Continue Reading In Marketing, There Are No Guarantees »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
April 2, 2008 by ian
Yup, after a long hiatus, I'm reviewing sites again. Sorry for the layoff. First up is FS4Sports.com. FS4 comes across as a pretty standard e-commerce site: Cart, products, buy stuff please: The Problem: Internet Marketing Still Requires Marketing I see this a lot. Folks focus on the mechanics - the web site, the cart, the search engines - and ignore the fact that it's still marketing. A Google search for 'sporting goods' shows 96 million competing pages. They all look pretty much the same. They all offer things like free shipping. They all have sales going on. That's where the…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing is Still Marketing: FS4 Sports Reviewed »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 31, 2008 by ian
I've just written and recorded lesson 1 of a new internet marketing training course and would greatly appreciate feedback. So, here's the entire lesson, no registration or payment required: Lesson 1: Internet Marketing Basics & Conversation Marketing [HTML version] Lesson 1: Internet Marketing Basics & Conversation Marketing [Podcast Version] Biggest questions on my mind: Would anyone pay for access to this stuff? Can I launch with 5-8 lessons and add more later? Will my voice suck out your will to live, leaving you a dried carcass by the side of the road? (I swear I'll put more feeling into it…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Training Course, Lesson 1 - Feedback please »
comments (10) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 28, 2008 by ian
My Internet Marketing List of last week got one heck of a response - 22,000 unique visitors in 3 days. Even though most of you losers didn't subscribe to my RSS feed, it gave my limp, damp ego a nice boost. In the interest of beating a good idea to death, I bring you the Dark Side of that list. 49 things you really should not do in your internet marketing campaign (but I'll bet you are): Have a useless Flash intro on your site. HAH. I'll bet you thought I'd pull that after some of you told me I…
Continue Reading The Internet Marketing Unlist: 49 Things You Probably Are Doing But Shouldn't »
comments (10) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 26, 2008 by ian
No, we're not. Yes, CNET just cut 10% of their workforce. And we're seeing far too much of that lately. But before I go outside and commit hari kari with a USB thumb drive, let's get a little perspective. CNET's problems are a valuable lesson in internet marketing, but don't run for the hills just yet. A comparison with their competitors shows this has been in the offing for a while, and it has nothing to do with the economy. It's about their strategy. CNET got bloated CNET cut 120 jobs. That's 10% of their workforce. To publish an online…
Continue Reading CNET Cuts Staff 10%. We're All DOOOOOOMMMMEED!!!! »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 21, 2008 by ian
Internet marketing is about lots of little things, not one big one. This list is half-list, half-procedure. If you go down these items in order it might give you a decent internet marketing plan for the next few months. If you have others, post ’em as comments: If you have a Flash introduction on your web site, delete it. If you don’t agree, try this: Shove your head into a bucket of water. Stay in there, not breathing, for 10 seconds longer than is comfortable. That’s what you’re doing to your customers. Delete it, please. Check the load speed of…
Continue Reading The Internet Marketing List: 59 Things You Should Be Doing But Probably Aren't »
comments (91) | trackbacks (1) | permalink
March 20, 2008 by ian
Update: The point of this post is internet marketing, and the fact that honesty - and apologies - go much further than ignoring the problem. A few folks pointed out that I spent more time bitching about Alaska Airlines than talking about the marketing stuff. My bad. I usually try to sandwich my posts in some story from real life. It creates a connection, makes stuff make more sense, plus it's a lot more fun for me. This time, I leaned a little too far toward reality, I guess. If you want to skip my whining, go straight to Good…
Continue Reading Screw You: Alaska Airlines Teach Us About Internet Marketing and Customer Service »
comments (8) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 17, 2008 by ian
I was listening to Joseph Jaffe's most recent podcast and one concept blew me away: Old-style marketing was about interruption. No news flash there. But Jaffe's statement that marketing is now about discoverability really resonates: You must be present at the customers' convenience and request, not screaming at them 24/7.You must answer their questions when they ask, not when they happen to be watching TV.And you'd better give them an easy way to ask further questions. You could say internet marketing is like a good (gasp) conversation. A good conversation is between two willing participants. A bad one has one…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Is About Discoverability (Not Yelling) »
comments (6) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 14, 2008 by ian
Sometimes I forget to remind folks: I wrote an internet marketing book. It only costs $19.95. Yes, you can read it online for free. But for less than $20 you get the feel of crisp, recycled paper and the smell of printer's ink. And the warm fuzzy feeling that you helped keep Conversation Marketing afloat. Click here to buy it.…
Continue Reading Conversation Marketing: The Book (buy it!) »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 14, 2008 by ian
...It will want to get lots of visitors on its new site. So you get a few visitors on the new web site through some clever internet marketing. When you get visitors on the web site, you'll remind the CEO that the website exists. So he'll go look for it on Google. When he sees he's not on page 1 for the word 'the', he'll ask you why. So you'll explain how search engine optimization works. When you explain how SEO works, he'll tell you to go do it. So you go do it and traffic will double. When traffic…
Continue Reading If You Give A Corp. A Web Site... »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 3, 2008 by ian
You spent $150,000 on creative, ad space and some fancy-pants internet marketing strategist. You launched the campaign and held your breath. And nothing happened. You've got two options (please choose #1): Option 1: Live and Learn To me, no measured campaign can be a total failure. If you didn't have analytics in place when you launched your campaign, sorry, I can't help you. Fire your internet marketing agency and seek therapy. Then start over. You can glean great information from even the most depressing result: First, make sure the campaign really failed. If something beyond your control killed the…
Continue Reading Don't Drive Angry: Stepping Back from a Failed Internet Marketing Campaign »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
March 1, 2008 by ian
While I was at SMX West, Jim Hedger was kind enough to interview me for Webmaster Radio. You can listen to it in its entirety here. One small correction: My book, Conversation Marketing, has actually been around for a while. I am currently working on a new edition, though.…
Continue Reading Webmaster Radio Interview at SMX West »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 29, 2008 by ian
I just realized I’m a hobbit by profession. I re-read The Hobbit (for the 6th or 7th time). For those who haven’t read it, the hero is an intrepid hobbit named Bilbo Baggins. He travels with a band of dwarves to slay a dragon named Smaug. Bilbo keeps his compatriots honest. He risks life, limb and the wrath of his employers (the dwarves) because he knows they’ve made a bad choice. Most important, he helps keep the dwarves, elves and men from killing each other, and keeps everyone focused on the mission. Developers are like dwarves. They make cool stuff…
Continue Reading Handier Than Hobbits: Why You Need An Internet Marketing Pro »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 27, 2008 by ian
As I pointed out last week, I am not a huge fan of Disneyland. But a small cadre of Disneyland travelers have put together books and blogs that make even me enjoy the biggest human trap ever built by a mouse. Mrs. S. runs one such site, and submitted it for my quick site review. It's called Pocketful of Pixie Dust: The Good Stuff I love this site. It's niche, the design is funky but readable, and the writing is good. Each post has a nice big image, too. Some Tweaks I do have some ideas, though, that might generate…
Continue Reading 6 Small Changes That Can Boost Your Site: Pocketful of Pixie Dust »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 26, 2008 by ian
I just finished my presentation at SMX. It was an absolute blast. I sat on a panel with Gord Hotchkiss of Enquiro and Brian Bond of FutureNow, Inc.. A big crowd, lots of questions, great audience. Here are my slides, if you want 'em: slideshare.net/wrttnwrd/search-marketing-with-personas/ David Wallace at Search Engine Roundtable also wrote a blurb about the presentation: Click here to read it. Susan Esparza from Bruce Clay, Inc. did a really in-depth liveblog of the presentation too.…
Continue Reading Personas Presentation at SMX West: My Slides »
comments (0) | trackbacks (1) | permalink
February 21, 2008 by ian
If you can make visitors to your website feel like they're insiders, they'll buy, vote, read or otherwise convert into a great audience. I proved that to myself, today, at Disneyland. I hate Disneyland. It's the antithesis of everything I like: It's big, commercial, crowded, expensive and exhausting. Yet I spent the day at Disneyland today, and had a good time. Why? My wife found this great book, the Unofficial Guide to Disneyland. Basically, it gives you the ideal schedule for a day at the park. When to show up, which gate to use to get in, which rides to…
Continue Reading Warning: Make Web Visitors Insiders, Or They Won't Buy »
comments (6) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 15, 2008 by ian
I may be engaging in excessive honesty in this post. If you're a client, or thinking of becoming one, you're getting a look at the closest thing to dirty laundry that Portent has. Some folks might tell me this is a bad idea. I disagree - there's a valuable lesson here. We got fired today. Well, it was a mutual firing, actually. The reason: We were too slow to respond to requests for things like a new image on the home page, or edits to an existing page. The client wanted 24-hour-turnaround. We couldn't deliver that. Our attempt to do…
Continue Reading Truthiness and Getting Fired: What's an Agency's Role? »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 11, 2008 by ian
Internet marketing is not SEO. It's not PPC. It's not e-mail or web design, or social media. It's the sum of many parts. Here's how I see it all fitting together: You can also download a PDF version here. Some Explanation If this is gibberish, you may want to skim through my book, which you can buy or read online for free. While I number the steps, this is not a linear process. It's a cycle that involves much random hopping around between 'Observe and Adjust', 'Know the Room', 'Sound Smart' and the other steps. If you don't have analytics,…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Strategy: A Step-by-Step Diagram »
comments (6) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 5, 2008 by ian
At least once a week, I see an e-mail exchange like this: Portent: Please make this one change on all pages of your site. Client: OK, we'll have that done in 2 months. Portent: What?! Client: Our IT (Information Technology) guys told us it'll take 2 months. Portent: We're asking you to change 'bumpers' to 'buggies' on the home page. Client: Well, the IT folks said that's a big change, and that they'll have to batch it with 3,000 other changes. Portent: (Pulls pin in head and explodes) Don't Blame IT If you won't let marketing run the web…
Continue Reading IT Department Wrecking Internet Marketing? It's Your Fault. »
comments (6) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 4, 2008 by ian
April 5th-6th, I'll be offering a 2-day internet marketing weekend. Here are the details: Everyone leaves with an internet marketing plan for their site, reviewed by peers. It'll be informal. It'll be in Seattle. I promise to be as sarcastic in person as I am online. I will prepare a worksheet for each site before we start, so we can hit the ground running. Day 1, you'll research and write personas for your site, and then brainstorm changes that will let you better cater to those personas. Day 2 will focus on getting the word out: You'll work on your…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Strategy Weekend: April 5, Seattle »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
February 1, 2008 by ian
In no particular order: No one's lives depend on what we do. But people's livelihoods do. So take your work seriously, and take pride in it. 75% of your audience uses a search engine to find you. Get used to it. All the banners and 'viral' marketing on earth won't come close to results produced by a top 5 ranking for a relevant phrase. But, a broad base is better. Don't rely on just one marketing vehicle. Build a complete internet marketing strategy that includes, at a minimum, paid search, organic search, e-mail and online PR. Never underestimate the power…
Continue Reading 15 Principles of Internet Marketing »
comments (18) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 31, 2008 by ian
The latest victim in my site review series is PerfectWeddingGuide.com. I've turned this review into a quick primer on internet marketing strategies for publications. Rex's site is a perfect case study insofar as he's in a very competitive space, and lives (I assume) on visitors and pageviews. More visitors and pageviews mean more advertising, and more money. 1. Remember Your Audience First rule of internet marketing: Know who you're talking to. This site caters to folks who are planning weddings. From long experience, we know certain common characteristics define someone who's planning a wedding: They're frazzled. They're in a hurry.…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing for Publications: Reviewing PerfectWeddingGuide.com »
comments (9) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 22, 2008 by ian
You've got something new, and nifty. You're excited about it. Of course everyone else wants to know about it, too. But how to get the word out? 2 Good Ways To Get The Word Out On the Internet Both these methods are about audience building. You build audience by giving them information, not a sales pitch. David Ogilvy knew that, long before the internets came along. Find the 50 most influential writers and bloggers in your space. For example, if you're a travel company, find travel bloggers. If you're a car company, find the car sites. Then send them one…
Continue Reading 2 Sure Ways to Launch a New Product Online. And 2 Sure Ways to Blow It. »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 18, 2008 by ian
I admit it. This is a blatant attempt to clever strategem brilliant marketing move to manipulate the search engines by writing about the phrase 'Conversational Marketing'. I would never really do such a thing. I am only joking. I swear. Of course, I usually write about 'Conversation Marketing'. But since Jack Meyers is writing about it as Conversational Marketing, and there are scads of folks writing about it using the -al I'm bowing to the herd. To me, at least, they're basically the same thing: The idea, taken from the Cluetrain Manifesto, that all markets are conversations. I started writing…
Continue Reading Conversational Marketing = Conversation Marketing »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 17, 2008 by ian
Jonathan bravely stepped up and volunteered his site for a review and recommendations. First off, Jonathan, this is solid. The look is simple and clean, and nothing blinks. That puts you in the top 99% of web sites. Seriously, it looks good. First impression is positive, and that's important: And you're using Feedburner for your RSS feed, which is fantastic. But no site's ever done. Here's what I'd change: Set priorities. This is the biggest problem I see right now. What's the goal of your site? Right now everything on your home page has equal priority: Your phone number, the…
Continue Reading 6-Step Site Review, #1: Guide To Seattle Real Estate »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 11, 2008 by ian
The R word is in the American air again: Recession. Hard to believe it hasn't already hit, given the money pouring out of the USA, the lack of money coming in, and our, cough, leadership. OK, I just got political for a second. I'm sorry. Note that I'm not specifying any particular leaders, though. Republicans and Democrats can choose who to blame. If you run a web site, it's easy to sit back and shut your eyes as we start the long downward roller coaster ride. But there are some things you can do to recession-proof your internet marketing: Make…
Continue Reading 11 Recession-Proof Internet Marketing Methods »
comments (9) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 9, 2008 by ian
I spent the day today looking at pitch pieces by a few internet marketing 'experts'. Now I feel dirty. But, in the interest of promoting knowledge, here I am, passing along knowledge gained at the expense of my appetite. There were a few selling strategies that all of the pitches had in common. So, here are three signs you should steer clear of a company or expert: They promote a Secret Recipe for Great Success. "The only reason no one else has used our secret method is because they're all too stupid! Yes, learn from us and we'll show you…
Continue Reading 3 Signs The Pitch is Slimey »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 8, 2008 by ian
Sure, I could try to predict what'll work in 2008. But I'll point to things like great marketing copy, audience measurement and analytics, your eyes will roll back in your head and my subscriber count will fall even further. It's much more fun to point out what'll flop in 2008. Here are the Internet Marketing 'trends', pushed by the pundits, we can comfortably ignore in 2008: Facebook. Big bad Facebook ended 2007 by giving out private data, started 2008 with a thud and have never established that they're a decent sales platform. While they show promise as a branding center,…
Continue Reading 11 Internet Marketing Trends to Ignore for 2008 »
comments (26) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
January 7, 2008 by ian
You need an internet marketing strategy, even if it's just "sell lots of stuff". Here's how you do it: Tear up the old marketing plan. Chances are, if your company's been around for a few years, someone wrote you a marketing plan. It probably has an executive summary, spans 3 years, and cost a lot of money. Feed it into the shredder. Planning for marketing conditions 3 years from now is like breathing through your ears: It defies anatomy, and common sense. Now breath deep, and enjoy the smell of freedom. Promise yourself you'll plan 3 months, not 3 years,…
Continue Reading 10 Steps to a Sound Internet Marketing Strategy »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 30, 2007 by ian
If you're new to Conversation Marketing, here are a few articles and other writings you might want to review: 5 Must-read Books for Internet Marketers I have a copy of each, dog-eared and sticky-noted. 65 Ways to Improve Online Sales I couldn't come up with 99. Conversation Marketing, the Book I published my entire book online. I'm writing version 2, now, with a lot more detail, but this is still a nice introduction to internet marketing strategy. If you're more of a print person, you can buy a copy here. Blog Stupidhead Dumb Poop Blog!!!! Because really, it had to…
Continue Reading 17 Conversation Marketing Articles You May Have Missed »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 28, 2007 by ian
When I take my child to use your web site, it had damned well better work. My daughter just got a Rescue Pet. They're adorable little stuffed puppies. They come with a code you can use at www.myepets.com to log in, groom your pet, furnish a little house for it, etc.. The fun stopped there. The myepets.com web site is a catastrophe. After 30 minutes of futility, I had to give up, and it's all their fault. But try explaining that to your 5 year old. So, here are 6 ways you can not make my daughter (or other…
Continue Reading 6 Ways to Keep My Daughter From Crying: A lesson in internet marketing »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 28, 2007 by ian
Ever the capitalist, I'm looking for ways to earn a bit more money online these days. I'm considering: Creating a series of MP3s talking about internet marketing strategy. Writing an ebook, Conversation Marketing 2, and selling that. Selling answers, literally: Folks come to Conversation Marketing, ask a question, I answer it. If you like the answer, you pay for it. But then I realized, I should just ask. What would you pay for? What would you consider a waste? Answer with a comment, below. I appreciate your feedback.…
Continue Reading I'm asking you: What information would you pay for? »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 20, 2007 by ian
Hate the phrase 'viral marketing'? Sick of 'web 4.0'? Do this word search and you'll be out of your mind in minutes. I've embedded lots of irritating buzzwords and phrases in a puzzle. Find 'em all and you get the rewarding feeling of having found them all. Some phrases repeat in slightly different versions. That's because pundits did the same thing. All year. If you want to keep it with you forever, you can download it in PDF: wordsearch.pdf…
Continue Reading Marketing Buzzwords 2007 Word Search »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 17, 2007 by ian
If you've been following the PR world of late, you know that the social media press release (SMPR) has gotten a lot of attention. This update of the stodgy old press release tries to blend social networking, rich media and text into a single, self-updating landing page for the media. It's a compelling idea. One place where the media and your customers could stay up to date regarding a key story. A Great Idea, But No HTML Template? Todd announced a template for it last year. My only complaint about it is the fact that the template is in PDF,…
Continue Reading Social Media Press Release: The Next Step (an HTML template) »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 11, 2007 by ian
I'm on a list kick this week, probably because I'm surrounded by holiday shopping lists. Internet marketing is hard, but that doesn't explain why so many campaigns fail. Here's what I think goes wrong: Late starts. Internet marketing starts when you decide to build your web site. Not a week after it's launched, when your developers have all quit and your designer is on vacation in Aruba for a month. Ignoring search. There's no excuse for ignoring search engines. If you do, you're ignoring at least 75% of your market. Even if you're Nike, many searchers will find you buy…
Continue Reading 7 Reasons Internet Marketing Fails »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 10, 2007 by ian
We've all used 'em. I certainly have. Here are the 10 top excuses/lines you'll likely hear from your internet marketer, and what they really mean. With understanding comes peace. None of these are making fun of anyone except myself, I promise. These are in no particular order: Yes, I was just looking at those numbers. Translation: That's the 50th spreadsheet you've sent me this week. I am printing them for use as a blotter. Why don't we test that home page change? Translation: I am 99% sure that this is a horrible idea. But I know you're going to ram…
Continue Reading 10 Great Internet Marketing Excuses, and What They Really Mean »
comments (4) | trackbacks (1) | permalink
December 5, 2007 by ian
A slow site sucks, no matter how pretty it is. It sheds visitors and customers like a raincoat sheds water. It can even hurt your search engine rankings. Fortunately, there are lots of easy ways to accelerate your sluggish site. Here they are, from easiest and least geeky to most complex and/or most geeky: First, Make Sure There's a Problem Before you run down this list, make sure the problem is your site, and not your own internet connection. You can test it easily. Visit speakeasy.net/speedtest and find out how you're doing. If it turns out your cable modem is…
Continue Reading 31 Ways To Speed Up Your Site »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
December 3, 2007 by ian
Account management, long the bastion of 3-martini lunches and oh-so-happy clients, is dead, and internet marketing killed it. Well, traditional account management, anyway. I don't want to scare my employees. In the past, account managers had to know how to schmooz, and how to communicate. Their job was to advise the client about creative, shuttle work between the agency, the client and the publisher, and provide a good face for the company. They didn't have to know how the TV station would broadcast the ad, or the science behind 4-color printing, or how radios were built. Internet marketing is a…
Continue Reading Account Management is Dead »
comments (8) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
November 28, 2007 by ian
I am sitting in an coliform-riddled Best Western in Peru, Indiana right now (I'm not kidding about the e coli part), drinking bottled water and pondering the meaning of a marketer's life. The answer, I think, is 'Integrated Marketing'. Here's a conversation I had today with one of my sharpest clients: Me Smiling victoriously: ...and internet sales are up over 25% since 2005-2006. Client Frowning unhappily: Sure, but what if our catalogs did that? Me Nodding intelligently: Catalogs and other offline stuff definitely drive customers. Our online marketing insures that you're visible when they look for you. Client Parrying vigorously:…
Continue Reading Integrated Marketing To Clever Monkeys (the more things change...) »
comments (3) | trackbacks (1) | permalink
November 20, 2007 by ian
If you can't make a decision, don't go into marketing. Don't try to manage a marketing team, either. [if you couldn't tell - today's post is a rant] Or, as I like to say: Behind every bad marketing campaign lies a herd of managers. This is doubly true in internet marketing. 90% of internet marketing campaigns can be designed, executed and launched within 2-3 days. Seriously. Think about your last campaign. Was it a landing page? A blog entry? An Adwords campaign? How long did it really take to put the campaign together and run it? 4 hours? 10 hours?…
Continue Reading Marketing Is About Decisions. »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
November 18, 2007 by ian
Cyber Monday, if you didn't know, is the Monday following Thanksgiving. It's becoming a huge online shopping day. Think of it as Black Friday, only online, and on Monday. If you have an online store, and you haven't done anything yet, don't despair. There are still some things you can do: Look at last year's analytics and sales. Did you have a jump in sales on Cyber Monday? If so, what keywords generated the results? Up your pay-per-click spend for those keywords. Test your site!!! Make sure your shopping cart is working properly, nothing is lagging, speed-wise, and that…
Continue Reading 8 Ways To Get Ready for Cyber Monday »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
November 12, 2007 by ian
Need I say more? GrokDotCom has the article here. When you're done, you might want to read my articles about personas, too: Creating Great Personas The 4 Rules of Personas: Creating Great Personas, Part 2 3 Rules for Applying Personas to E-mail Marketing Search Marketing and Personas: Opening Your Customer's Heads Technorati Tags: personas…
Continue Reading Using Personas Boosts Conversion Rates 400% »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
November 10, 2007 by ian
Improving online sales isn't usually a start-over-from-scratch proposition. Here are 65 little tweaks that can make a big difference: Analytics Set up an analytics program, if you haven't already. Google Analytics is easy and free. You can see my video tutorials about it here. Set up conversion tracking in whatever analytics program you use. Use conversion tracking to figure out which advertising and keywords work, and which don't. Stop wasting money. Track the search terms people use to find your site. Make sure that the products matching the three most popular search terms appear on your home page. Do…
Continue Reading 65 Easy Ways To Improve Online Sales »
comments (12) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
November 7, 2007 by ian
I have 5 books that I re-read at least once a year. If you're an internet marketer, or looking to become one, I recommend having a look: “Ogilvy on Advertising†(David Ogilvy) Ogilvy's book is the definitive work, in my opinion. His advice, and his methods, are timeless. Ogilvy writes beautifully, too, so this is an enjoyable read. “Tested Advertising Methods (Prentice Hall Business Classics)†(John Caples, Fred E. Hahn) John Caples was quite a character, I think. His book changed advertising in the 20th Century. If you've had enough of folks telling you about 'eyeballs' and 'attention metrics',…
Continue Reading 5 Must-Read Books for Internet Marketers »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 29, 2007 by ian
Jeremiah asks: “What's the best way to balance a diverse web marketing budget? There should I allocate my funds? How do I prioritize, there are so many tools to consider.†Clearly, you should spend it all on your internet marketing agency. Ahem. The answer to this question depends on the type of business. If you're an e-commerce business, your focus is on acquiring customers. You need to spend a lot on search, organic and paid. Then social marketing, without question - one good blog review and you're set. Also build your house e-mail list, and use it. So I'd…
Continue Reading Allocating Your Online Marketing Budget: Stump Ian, Question 5 »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 25, 2007 by ian
How will this impact the little guys (like me)? When Google partnered with MySpace, they started running their PPC ads on MySpace, creating instant access for all Adwords advertisers. So far, Microsoft's cooperation with Facebook has led to ad opportunities with minimum buy amounts of $50k or so. Is this going to change? Is Facebook going to start showing ads in more places? Otherwise, where will they get the inventory to make their implicit $15 billion valuation make sense? Anybody? Bueller...? Technorati Tags: facebook, Microsoft, ppc marketing…
Continue Reading 2 Questions About the Facebook Microsoft Deal »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 22, 2007 by ian
Note: I've had a bad day. A very, very bad day. One that, after a good night's sleep, will fade away. But for now, it counts as bad, bad, bad. So take this with a grain of salt. That being said... Another note: I posted angry. Now I am eating crow, here. Are we all idiots? “All†meaning “me and some other peopleâ€. I'm starting to worry. I walked into my office today to see this post on GrokDotCom. Auuuuuuugh!!!! 'Viral Marketing' and 'Word of Mouth Marketing' are another way of saying 'marketing that works'. Well, 'word of mouth…
Continue Reading We're All Idiots »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 16, 2007 by ian
Rhys, who works at a non-profit, asked a great question: “I’m wondering, if I know I can't do everything that is important, what marketing options and best practices should I focus on, and which could be skimped?†Online, content still rules. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. If you have a limited budget, and limited time, set your priorities like this: Write great, great content. Join a few social networks, like Facebook, and build a group of friends. Then post to your personal page when you've added content. Use StumbleUpon! Install their toolbar. Take a…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Priorities: Stump Ian, Question 2 »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 15, 2007 by ian
Riddle me this... It's that time again. Have a question about internet marketing? Stop sending me notes. He's the Riddler from the old Batman. Not a proctologist... Wondering why you can't move up on Google? Trying to decide whether you should sell your product/service online? Get some free help from yours truly: Post your question as a comment, below, and I'll answer it on the blog in the next day or so. If you stump me, I'll abstain from chocolate for a day... Technorati Tags: internet marketing…
Continue Reading Stump Ian: Ask your internet marketing questions »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
October 9, 2007 by ian
Momentum is what keeps you moving. Acceleration is what gets you moving. In internet marketing, which is better? I would argue strongly that momentum is more important. Momentum means a search engine optimization campaign targeting many phrases, instead of just one. If you lose ranking for one phrase, you still have the others. Your progress is hard to check. Acceleration is that one phrase rising to #1. It's exciting. It presses you back in your seat. But it comes and goes. The ideal is steady acceleration and lots of momentum. But in an imperfect world, I'll vote for momentum…
Continue Reading Great Marketing vs Good Marketing = Momentum vs Acceleration »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 29, 2007 by ian
We just ran a 1-week radio campaign for a client using Google Radio Ads. The client had an existing ad, wanted airtime, but weren't sure where/when to place it. Since they already had an Adwords account, it made sense to try Google's Audio Ads system. We learned some valuable lessons, so I'm passing them along here: Use a unique phone number in your ad, so that you can track calls generated by the radio spot. Google audio ads has a nifty call tracking feature that will help you do this. Create a unique offer, if possible. That way, you…
Continue Reading Make the Most of Google Audio Ads: 4 Tips »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 27, 2007 by ian
Seth points us to a diagram by Aaron at SEOBook. He explains that it's too complex. I agree. But it's also too simple. It ignores the back-and-forth. Things don't just feed outward like that, and I'm always leery of this kind of stuff - how many people will see this and take it as marketing gospel? Aaron has lots of great stuff, but this one's off the mark. If I may be so bold, I think a diagram showing effectiveness by type of vehicle, and the interrelationships, is more effective. Sorta like this one: click here. Technorati Tags: internet…
Continue Reading Trees, Chunking, and Oversimplifying »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 20, 2007 by ian
I kept a list of the types of things I did today. Here it is: Web analytics for an e-commerce site. Internet marketing strategy for a non-profit. Search engine optimization for yet another e-commerce site. Usability & creative review for someone's blog. Writing for my blog. Streaming video consulting. Sometimes it gets ugly in my office. If you're an internet marketer, what do you do in any given day? Technorati Tags: fun, internet marketing…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing: Game of Many Hats »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 20, 2007 by ian
Hi all. If I could get some feedback on this I'd be very, very grateful: Technorati Tags: video, YouTube, YouTube Ads…
Continue Reading My First YouTube Video Ad: Opinions Please... »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 19, 2007 by ian
Someone actually said this to me today. Actually, they said it to my voicemail, which is even more amazing: “Our network is a best-of-breed digital advertising system with direct access to your best customers through behavioral profiling and demographic targeting.†Wow. I think they were trying to say: “Please call me back and spend your clients' money with us. We will help you put ads where they'll work best.†But instead came out more like this: “Babble babble advertising blah blah blah behavioral bleah bleah demographics blah blah.†A quick hint for anyone selling advertising, especially if you're pitching…
Continue Reading Horrific Marketingspeak #992 »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 16, 2007 by ian
Well, yeah. It is, and Brett explains why. You can develop an internet marketing strategy around a broad, dispersed audience: The 'shotgun approach', where you get yourself in front of as many people as possible and hope for the best. Or, you can develop a strategy around a deep, focused audience, where you learn the territory from top-to-bottom, and pick out your ideal customers, one at a time. That's why analytics (Observe and Adjust) and awareness of audience (Know the Room) are so very important. They allow you to continuously refine your tactics for happier and happier customers, a…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing is Like Contra...? »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 11, 2007 by ian
What's internet marketers' role in the world? [Today's date, plus the eve of the Jewish New Year, have me more contemplative than usual. Ignore this post if you're here looking for tutorials or checklists.] As internet marketers, we don't build anything, or grow food, or cure disease. Aside from a few exceptions, we also don't create companies that will contribute to society beyond our lifetimes. So what's our job? How do we contribute something lasting? My random ideas: Practice ethics. It's about more than staying legal. It's also much harder. If clients ask you to bend the truth or…
Continue Reading What's Our Role? »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 10, 2007 by ian
If you stop, you'll be sad. You can't stop eating chocolate, right? I know I can't. You don't want to stop your internet marketing campaign, either. You're never 'done' - you continue your campaign so that you continue your good search rankings, high conversion rates and ROI. Buy cheap, end up with a bad aftertaste. Ever bite into chocolate bar and think you were eating wax? Ever go with the low bidder because they promised 'top 10 rankings within 2 weeks for $99.95'? Nuff said. Quality ingredients make a better result. Good sugar, real cocoa, etc. make good chocolate.…
Continue Reading 5 Ways Internet Marketing is Like Chocolate »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 7, 2007 by ian
Since my earlier search for good questions went awry when I found LinkedIn plotting to end civilization, I figured I'd throw it open: If you have a question about Internet Marketing, send it to me. I will answer. I may also publish it on my blog (I won't use your name, don't worry). Send it to ian AT portentinteractive DOT com Technorati Tags: internet marketing…
Continue Reading Ask Your Internet Marketing Questions »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 6, 2007 by ian
Pay attention to social media: It's not just voodoo, and it will impact your bottom line. Yesterday I played the skeptic, pooh-poohing the idea that social media is a new idea. I also talked a bit about what makes something 'social media'. Now I'll point out three very concrete ways social media can improve your internet marketing results: Social Media Success = Improved Search Engine Rankings Every time a blog, bookmarking site or other trendy social media community mentions you, chances are they link to you, too. Links are important to search engine rankings. Very important. So a flurry…
Continue Reading 3 Reasons Social Media Matters »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 5, 2007 by ian
I just wrote a bit about what defines social media, and how to build on that as a marketer. But I have to let out my inner cynic for a moment. Social media is a ridiculous phrase as applied to the internet. It's an effort to shoehorn a broad, old concept into a new, very focused space. It's like 'web 2.0' - say it too many times, and kittens die. So here's what social media is not: Something new: OK, c'mon. Social media has been around since the Potlatch and the Town Meeting, not to mention cave drawings. A…
Continue Reading What Social Media Is Not »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
September 5, 2007 by ian
Social media is a trendy phrase - one that I've never understood. Have you ever seen any anti-social media? Most CEOs and marketers I meet are mystified. Just what the heck is social media? What does it mean for marketing? This 'new' phenomenon is defined by 5 things: User participation Social media lets the audience join in. On a blog, that means comments and trackbacks. In a discussion forum, everyone's a participant, as they talk to each other, answer questions, etc.. Bookmarking sites like del.icio.us and digg invite users to point out content they like. And, of course, video…
Continue Reading Social Media: 5 Factors & 5 Tips for Marketers »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 26, 2007 by ian
Internet marketing is very much the sum of its parts. It's as much about the relationship between the web site, the media plan, the search engines and such as it is about those parts. So, three people you must have on your internet marketing team: The Creative Leader This person may or may not be a designer. They might be a writer. Doesn't matter. They must be able to step into the customer's shoes and get a good sense of what will make them take action. This isn't simple, and it can't be determined using research. It requires instinct,…
Continue Reading 3 People You Must Have On Your Internet Marketing Team »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 23, 2007 by ian
I refuse to do a list of 200 sites. Who really has time to browse through 200 sites?! But here are 5 internet marketing sites that you, the marketer, must look at every day. Subscribe to them using Google Reader or your web browser, and just glance at the headlines, once a day. It's worth the 5 minutes, I promise: CopyBlogger: Like an online spa for marketers The name implies this site is purely about writing, but it's not. Copyblogger talks about everything from segmentation to blog marketing to landing pages, in a relaxed, easy to read tone. It's…
Continue Reading 5 Must-Read Internet Marketing Sites: Updated List »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 22, 2007 by ian
I am a writer at heart (aren't most marketers?). When I'm really stumped for sales copy on any topic, I write a proposal. Doesn't matter if I actually need a proposal. I write one, regardless. Most people don't enjoy making a sales pitch. Somehow, though, the proposal gives you an 'out': It's supposed to be a sales pitch. So it's OK. That's how I wrote the copy on my consulting package page - it was a proposal, first. Try it: Pick a potential client, or someone you'd like to be a potential client. Write them a proposal. Set it…
Continue Reading Copywriting Tip: Write A Proposal »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 22, 2007 by ian
Most sites launch late because you've got no content. And then most languish after launch, for the same reason. I keep count of project delays at my company. Over the last 7 years, late or insufficient content caused 65% of all delays. Software problems, additional features, illnesses, natural disasters and random other stuff all comprise the rest. Ouch. Why is it so hard? First, no one likes to write about themselves or their organizations. Second, writing is always saved for the end of the project. Third, everyone thinks everyone else is doing the writing. Here are some ways you…
Continue Reading 5 Steps To Break The Copywriting Logjam »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 21, 2007 by ian
Every now and then it's good to do a quick refresher. Especially after you've been writing proposals all day and don't have two brain cells to rub together. So, here goes - Conversation Marketing's Greatest Hits: Tutorials Google Analytics: Setup and 5 other Tutorials (video) Google Custom Search Engines: Setup and Configuration (video) Google Custom Search Engines: Removing Pages In A Few Steps Business Stuff How to price Internet Marketing services. And, going way back, some pointers on analyzing SEO results. Randomness It's amazing how much stuff you write over a few years. There's a collection of my favorite…
Continue Reading An Internet Marketing Refresher »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 16, 2007 by ian
I am not successful, yet. But I have been in the internet marketing business for 12 years, and I've got 10 rules I live by. These are all equally important: Believe what you do. You have to earnestly believe that what you're doing is worth doing. Love what you do. Trust me, if you don't love it, you won't make it through the inevitable rough times. Be comfortable. Don't work with clients that make you uncomfortable. I'm not making any value judgments here. But if you can't tell your kids what you do and be proud of it, then…
Continue Reading 10 Rules for A Successful Internet Marketing Agency »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 16, 2007 by ian
A quick Thursday quiz: Which of these quotes, articles and logos are real? Is Your Marketing an Expense...or an Investment? Web Page Design Using PowerPoint Gauging Marketing Results Boosts Performance SEO: Fact or Fiction? Click Your Ranking To Move Up: SEO Secrets Designing a Webpage Using Microsoft Word Using Internet Tubes Getting Ready for the Convergence of SOA & Web 2.0 My only promise is that at least 4 of these are real... Technorati Tags: fun, writing…
Continue Reading Which Headlines Are Real? A Quiz »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 13, 2007 by ian
At some point, you'll need to delete old content from your Google Custom Search Engine. For example: A client of ours just launched a new site using the Google Custom Search Engine. Problem was, their custom search tool was still showing links to old pages. When visitors performed a search, they'd get a page full of broken links. Luckily, Google's got an easy way to remove those pages, right in your search engine control panel. Here's how you use it: Step 1: First, log in at www.google.com/coop. Then go to 'Control Panel >> Sites': Step 2: Click 'Exclude Sites':…
Continue Reading Google Custom Search: Removing Pages From Your Search Engine »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 12, 2007 by ian
Robert Scoble responds to Ethan Kaplan's tripe about Gnomedex. Kaplan missed the entire point. Gnomedex was not about RSS and Web 2.0. Gnomedex was about communication that organizes, motivates and calls to action. Gnomedex was about lots of people each making a small difference, and how that can add up. And Ethan, that's what Patti Smith sings about, too.…
Continue Reading Kaplan Missed the Point »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 11, 2007 by ian
STOP Stop using the phrase 'web 2.0'!!!! Stop! Stopstopstopstopstop. I can't take it any more! This is not some magical leap forward on the internet. Nor is it a thing. “Web 2.0†is a fiction - it's a phrase someone made up in an attempt to differentiate their stuff from your stuff. It's an attempt to turn 10 years of slow, hard evolution in web interactivity into a one-step. And it's an attempt to attract unsuspecting venture capitalists. Even worse, now some folks are using 'web 3.0'. Gaaauuugh! So, from now on, before you write or say 'web 2.0',…
Continue Reading Web 2.0 - For the Love of All That's Holy... »
comments (3) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 9, 2007 by ian
I'm in the Blogger's Choice Awards. Vote for me. Not because it makes you feel good, but because it makes me feel good. Vote here.…
Continue Reading A Vote For Me Is A Vote For... Me »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 6, 2007 by ian
I flew to L.A. last week via Alaska Airlines. The flight was right on time, smooth as silk. Then we landed at LAX. The jetway was busted. So, for the next fifty minutes, eight airline and airport employees moved the jetway forward 3 feet, then back three feet, then forward three feet, then back three feet: Fifty minutes. Multiply that by eight employees and that's nearly a day of paid work. The airline put all of their focus on the wrong problem: They did fix the jetway, but only after several passengers missed their connections to international flights, and…
Continue Reading Are You Focused on the Wrong Problem? »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 5, 2007 by ian
What do you think 'internet marketing' is? I've been grinding my teeth over this for years. Figured I'd let you all make some suggestions: Surveys - Take Our Poll Technorati Tags: internet marketing…
Continue Reading Poll: What is Internet Marketing? »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 3, 2007 by ian
I'm in LA, drunk on my adorable six-month-old niece and a really good crumbled meatball sub (mmmmmmm), so this rambles a bit. Here's a conversation I have all the time: Other Person: So, what do you do? Me: I'm an internet marketer. OP: Oh... Me: ... That's it. So, what the hell is internet marketing? Every week it expands. This time last year, it included: SEO Paid search Design Strategy Analytics Planning Everything else Now, of course, it includes: All of the above Social media (whatever that means - have you ever seen anti-social media?) Mobile How do you…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Is... What? »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
August 1, 2007 by ian
Way back when (around 2000), some folks wrote the ClueTrain Manifesto. It started with 'These Markets Are Conversations'. About the same time, I came up with Conversation Marketing. I hadn't read the ClueTrain Manifesto yet, honest. Now, we see: The Conversational Marketing Summit Lots of references to 'Conversation Marketing' or 'Conversational Marketing' in various contexts, here, here, here, here and here. Most of these writers and professionals have never read my blog. They have no idea there's a book called Conversation Marketing. Nor have they read the ClueTrain Manifesto. It's just an idea that makes lots of sense. That's…
Continue Reading How You Know An Idea Caught On »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 30, 2007 by ian
This from Mashable: An insider at Facebook leaked their rate card. Why You Should Care There are a lot of happy eyeballs drying themselves out while staring at Facebook. In addition, there's an increasing number of Facebook productivity applications. That means that business users may start using the site as a day-to-day business tool You can see the entire rate card on Mashable's site. In the mean time, some quick hits: A 3-month run sponsoring a group, which includes a 120 x 600 tower ad, a some choice links and a viral promotion will cost you $150,000. A homepage…
Continue Reading Facebook Advertising Rate Card Leaked »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 27, 2007 by ian
If you go to 5 firms asking for a bid on search engine marketing, or a PPC campaign, or a new web site, you'll probably get 5 very different responses. How do you know which one's right (if any)? Clients always tell me “It's so complicated!†and “I don't know enough about internet marketing to know what works!â€. Truth is, it's only as complex as you make it. And you don't have to know internet marketing - you have to understand your business. Here are five steps to pricing internet marketing: 1. What's it worth? First, what's it worth…
Continue Reading 5 Steps To Price Internet Marketing and SEO »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 24, 2007 by ian
Stop me if you've heard any of these: Social networks will change the world! Social networks will be the e-mail killer! Social networks have Google quaking in its billion-dollar boots!!!!! None are completely true. Bloggers are engaging in a little hyperbole to grab some attention. Social media is definitely a major change, and it's finally booming after years of lurking in the background. But it won't replace any current communications tools. I'll explain why in a moment. First a quick primer: What's a Social Network? Lots of fancy definitions out there, but let's keep it simple. A social network…
Continue Reading Why Social Networks Won't Kill E-mail (or Search) »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 12, 2007 by ian
Facebook is not the next Google. It is a whole new kind of phenomenon - not just a MySpace copy. There are opportunities there for the smart marketer. Here are 3 reasons why you need to understand Facebook: Applications: You can build, or hire someone to build, little applications that Facebook users can add to their own Facebook pages. Custom applications can 'go viral', passing from user to user, very quickly. If a user ads, say, Ian's Handy Widget to their pages, then all of their Facebook friends will see that one of their friends is now using the…
Continue Reading 3 Reasons You Need To Learn About Facebook »
comments (2) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 11, 2007 by ian
One of my 10 or so loyal readers just pointed out that I'm in the top 150 marketing bloggers. Woo hoo! Sure, he got the blog name wrong, but I'll bask in the brief glow of a tiny publicity burp anyway.…
Continue Reading Top 150 »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 8, 2007 by ian
Advertising Age would've gotten a 'C', at best, in my college analysis class. But they get an 'A' in bad bragging. Ad Age writer Mya Frazier just published an article titled 'CMOs Rapped for Having Zero Impact On Sales'. Pretty heady stuff, right? Great link and reader bait, that's for sure. She opens the article with this line: “Pay attention, CMOs: If you've been fighting for more influence with top management, hide this publication -- now.†I'd better read this! She goes on to quote a study in the Journal of Marketing in January of 2008. Her interpretation: CMOs…
Continue Reading AdAge Misinterprets CMO Study, Demonstrates an Immodest Brag »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 6, 2007 by ian
Part 1: What Is It (This is a three-parter. In this first post I explain what the semantic web is, or may become.) If you're not ready for it, the next big web evolution could put you right out of business. If you read the business magazines, you've seen the phrase 'semantic web'. It may seem like a bunch of academic gobbledygook, but it's not. The semantic web that's slowly emerging will let customers more easily find you, compare you to others and make a decision. The Web Now Search engines go out, read web sites, and make their…
Continue Reading The Semantic Web Will Help You Sell: Part 1 »
comments (5) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
July 5, 2007 by ian
Whether you're a marketer, a business owner or a consumer looking to understand how folks are selling you stuff, here are five aspects of internet marketing you need to understand. You don't need to be an expert. But you need to get the concept, just like you understand that TV shows are made with cameras, and that the sexy blonde in the commercial had 4 hours makeup work. Search Engines. Let's face it - most folks use a search engine to find what they're looking for. You need to understand, at least at a high level, how these suckers work.…
Continue Reading 5 Internet Marketing Tools You Must Learn (Or At Least Understand) »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 28, 2007 by ian
Internet discounters, beware. The Supreme Court's ruling in Leegin Creative Leather Products vs. PSKS may just end the reign of web retailers who slash prices to undercut brick-and-mortar stores. In Leegin, the court said that lower courts may use a “rule of reason†in anti-trust cases: If a manufacturer pressures a deep-discounting retailer to raise their price to a minimum level, that may be OK. The case in question pitted a brick-and-mortar retailer against a leather goods maker. But the real winners here may be full-service retailers and manufacturers who, until now, had to let internet retailers charge far,…
Continue Reading Leegin vs. PSKS Has Major E-commerce Implications »
comments (4) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 18, 2007 by ian
Contrary to popular belief, good internet marketing gets to the point. So, 5 ways to do just that: Write clearly. Do not write stuff like 'Our technical knowledge and process lead initiatives enable us to deliver high quality products to our clients...'. What does that mean exactly? Don't make someone click if you don't have to. Why not put your product's price on your home page? If you sell something, say so. It's ok, really, to say 'Order Now' or 'Order Online' or even 'Buy Now'. Don't make someone register for that demo or white paper if you don't…
Continue Reading 5 Ways to Get to the Point »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 8, 2007 by ian
THAT got your attention, I'll bet. Even as I write this, salespeople are loading their cars up with food, water and weapons to come and find me at my office. Marketers are writing angry letters. Put down your pens. And gasoline is too expensive. Hear me out. Jeremiah had a great post regarding how marketing and sales are different. But online, they're so intertwined that you'll separate them at your peril. So, 5 reasons you should treat them as a single entity: Your internet marketing campaign is your marketing strategy and your selling floor, all at once. How your…
Continue Reading 3 Reasons Marketing And Sales are the Same »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 7, 2007 by ian
Internet marketing is definitely not for the faint of heart. If you're vaporlocked trying to decide on the right domain, or the best keyword, or the best ad, flip a coin. I'm serious. At least then you can test one of your options. If it works, great. If it doesn't, move on. If you've got some analytics smarts, then try all of the options in a multivariate test. But don't just sit there... Technorati Tags: conversation marketing, internet marketing…
Continue Reading Can't Decide on a Strategy? Flip a Coin. »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
June 6, 2007 by ian
Even one of my employees got into the act, attempting to impersonate Matt Cutts at this weeks SMX Seattle. Who Is the Real Matt Cutts Which got me to thinking: Who else is trying to pass themselves off as Google's biggest celebrity? You might be surprised: Technorati Tags: fun, seo…
Continue Reading Will The Real Matt Cutts Please Step Forward »
comments (0) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 30, 2007 by ian
Ever build a site, show it to an search engine optimization pro, and hear “Sorry, we'll have to start over.â€? Or have your IT team design the site, and watch it sell nothing for a year? Or give in to your sales department's demand for a registration form, and notice that no one seems to register? Here's why that happens: An SEO professional would like my blog to have 10,000 incoming links, and look like this: Great for SEO. Not so good for the user experience. A designer might want my site to look more like this: Nice window…
Continue Reading What Is Internet Marketing? A Lesson in 4 Acts »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 23, 2007 by ian
Internet marketing is a discipline, not a piece of software. Internet marketing is not website design. That's part of it. But it's not all of it. As a discipline, it's comprised of several crafts. Just a few include: Application and database development are the gears and levers that make it work. Design provides the connection between the audience and the gears and levers. Search is still the primary way folks find what they want. That's not going to change any time soon. Direct marketing - RSS, e-mail and mobile - form the framework for an immediate connection to an…
Continue Reading An Internet Marketing Manifesto »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 23, 2007 by ian
Google just bought Feedburner for about $100 million bucks. What does Feedburner do? They make it easier to distribute and consume RSS feeds. By purchasing Feedburner, Google purchases another huge network on which to distribute their pay per click advertising: RSS feeds. What's an RSS feed? Think of it as an up-to-date list of article titles from a blog or other web site. Anywhere you see this: you can subscribe to and receive updates using a feedreader, so you don't have to visit the site. It's especially useful for big information consumers like me, who track lots of sites…
Continue Reading Google Buys Feedburner »
comments (1) | trackbacks (0) | permalink
May 22, 2007 by ian
We've all made these kinds of groaners. It's 'palette', not 'palate', I'm pretty sure. Don't depend on your spell checker. Computers will faithfully replicate you