May 13, 2008 by ian
Let's face it. Customers are a pain in the ass. Always asking for annoying things like service, honesty, quality. Always whining if they don't get what they want. Well, you're in luck. Here's my 13-step process for making sure your customers hate you. Just build these features into your web site. They're like an internet marketing mullet: 1: The Flash Intro I've written about this three times now. Somehow people still argue with me, saying that 120 seconds of totally pointless dancing raisins, spinning squares and cheesy, porn-inspired music loops is a good marketing tactic. It's not. It's. Just. Not.…
Continue Reading 13 Ways To Generate Customer Hate »
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May 9, 2008 by ian
The whole fuss around buying competitor's keywords in pay per click marketing campaigns is stupid. Moronic. Foolish. Wasteful. Did I mention bad? And stupid? There is nothing wrong with bidding on a competitor's brand name. Let me say it a different way: If you're Infiniti, it's perfectly OK to make sure your ad shows up if someone searches for 'Audi'. Why It's OK: It's Called Competition See, putting your ad next to someone else's ad is called competition. On TV, commercials say "Our product beat [competitor name here]'s product 3 out of 4 times!" Competitors buy space opposite each other,…
Continue Reading Bidding on Trademarked Keywords is Fine: It's Called Competition »
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May 8, 2008 by ian
Today, ShoeMoney and Marketing Pilgrim provided great insights into why they think search engine optimization has no future. I don't agree. Times infinity. Nyah nyah phbltbltbltblt. So there. Marketing Pilgrim says: "Take my industry of health supplements. Do you think Google wants to reward the SEO contortions of unknown companies and affiliates with lots of free business? Of course not–they want to send their visitors to the top supplement sites in the industry." Very true, but only where it applies to affiliate sites offering no additional value. Why should an affiliate site rank higher than the manufacturers it represents? It…
Continue Reading SEO Has A Future: Rebutting ShoeMoney and Marketing Pilgrim »
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May 7, 2008 by ian
Internet Marketing isn't all misery and torture. So, in honor of National Grump Out Day, I dug deep and celebration-worthy advances in our industry: Analytics: No Longer Death By Details Two years ago, "analytics" meant "hope for the best". Lousy interfaces, slow reports, moronic support staff and high costs drove us all crazy. There haven't been any revolutionary changes since then. But industry consolidation, for once, may have been a good thing: The state of the art is far easier to use, runs faster, and (apart from the last week) very reliable. A lot of this, I think, is because…
Continue Reading 5 Internet Marketing Advances I Like, and What They Mean To You »
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May 2, 2008 by ian
If you're using Google Analytics to record sales data, you may have noticed really horrible sales over the last couple days. Don't panic. I don't think it's you. It appears that, starting April 30th, Google Analytics isn't correctly reporting e-commerce revenue. We figured this out after noticing that, of our 10+ clients using Google e-commerce reporting, all were showing the same drop in sales. Here are graphs from two completely different sites, on different servers, in different industries: Bounce rates, site traffic and visit quality have all remained totally stable on these sites - there's no evidence anything went wrong.…
Continue Reading Google Analytics Is Losing E-commerce Data: Don't Panic?!! »
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May 1, 2008 by ian
'Link building', for those who don't know, is the practice of gaining links from other sites. Links are important. They deliver authority in the eyes of search engines, traffic if you're lucky, and a chance that someone else will link to you, too. You can't live without 'em. But there are no established best practices you can follow. Hopefully, if you hear what scares me, you'll learn a bit about what to avoid: The "Gain 600,000 links in just two weeks!" strategy. It's tempting to pay someone to build lots of links in one shot. But it's a bad idea.…
Continue Reading 6 Link Building Practices That Scare The Crap Out of Me »
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April 25, 2008 by ian
Eric Shonfeld at Techcrunch just posted Is Keyword Search About To Hit Its Breaking Point? So, are we headed for a search apocalypse? Better hope not. And I don't think so. Eric cites Nova Spivack's presentation. In it, Nova says that if the amount of content keeps growing keyword search will collapse, leaving the internet in a general state of higgledy piggeldy (We're talking flying monkeys here, people). Therefore, we need something better than keyword search. Um. Any chance all we need is better keyword search? I sure hope so, because the semantic web will never happen. Not in my…
Continue Reading Keyword Search Is Just Fine, Thank You »
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April 24, 2008 by ian
Brought to you by the same manic-depressiveness that generated 11 Internet Marketing Trends To Ignore. Here are 17 internet marketing things I will not write about: Twitter. I love Twitter, and spend a fair amount of time on it. But a quick search on Google shows 37,845 blogs posts in the last week. What. The. Hell. I think this story's been done, OK? Facebook's slow fall from grace as an advertising platform. I already wrote about this a while ago. Before most other folks. So nyah nyah. I don't need to write about it any more. What Jason Calcanis…
Continue Reading 17 Internet Marketing Things I Will Not Write About »
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April 21, 2008 by ian
It's tempting to offer stuff for free to lure in customers. And it can work (sometimes). Overused, it'll actually lead to unhappy customers, not happy ones. Here's how my family's new pets re-taught me this lesson. The Guinea Pigs Hated Me My kids persuaded me to adopt a pair of guinea pigs: Gandalf (my son's) and Crystal (my daughter's). First, I did not name Gandalf. That was entirely Harrison. With maybe a smidge of prompting by me. Second, I sort of encouraged them to persuade me to adopt the guinea pigs. Sue me. I am a definite animal lover. I…
Continue Reading Be Careful With 'Free': Guinea Pigs Teach Internet Marketing »
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April 17, 2008 by ian
Marketing is not about lying or cheating, or tricking consumers into wanting what they think you've got (even if you don't). So what is it? I've briefly opened my psyche's closet doors, shoved back the "Haven't studied for finals" nightmare, knocked out the three-headed monster that keeps yelling "Ian, the clowns are coming" and even dodged past my daughter marrying the leader of a right-wing biker gang to bring you my definition of marketing. I use this definition to test my assumptions, and keep myself honest: My Definition of Marketing Marketing: Giving authentic, compelling information to the right audience the…
Continue Reading What's Marketing? Peek Into A Marketer's Pysche »
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April 10, 2008 by ian
Ah, youth. 13 years ago I started my company with a spare room in my house, a credit card (limit: $1500) and a computer (Pentium 75 mhz, Windows 95). I was out of my ##@!)(@#$*!@@ mind. If I'd known then what I know now, would I have gone into this business? I don't know. But here's some wisdom I wish I had back then: No one has a clue how to market anything. We are all winging it. It's just that some are better at winging it than others. Corollary: Seth Godin, et al are brilliant about the high-level stuff.…
Continue Reading 38 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started In Marketing »
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April 7, 2008 by ian
5 lessons religion can teach internet marketers: Have a tall steeple (or something similar). Make sure folks can find you when they're ready. Discoverability is the name of the game. Tell a good story. Have a compelling narrative about your brand. That way, when folks arrive they'll want to stay. Practice what you preach. Cough. OK, religions don't always do that well on this score. To succeed, though, you'd better know whereof you speak. That means believing in what you're selling. Let the believers do the marketing. Your happy customers can go out and tell their friends about you. They'll…
Continue Reading 5 Lessons Religion Can Teach Internet Marketers »
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April 4, 2008 by ian
It's somewhat official: Google's making another major algorithm update. You can read the geeky details on Search Engine Land. I have a few tips for surviving the experience: Turn off your computer and walk away for a week. Find those left over percocets and pop a few. Failing that, go to the Google server at 72.14.207.104. Search your target phrases there. If the result there is still different from the rest of the world, there's a chance Google's still updating, and whatever you're seeing that's causing ulcers is temporary. Google has many servers. They push these updates live from one…
Continue Reading Google's Dancing: Surviving the Dewey Update »
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April 3, 2008 by ian
Cool new feature I just spotted in Google Analytics. The ability to graph data by week or month: You can even graph revenue by hour: Don't know about you, but I've been wanting something like this for quite a while. No more migrains from grouping data...…
Continue Reading Google Analytics Adds Weekly, Monthly Graphing »
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March 31, 2008 by ian
I've just written and recorded lesson 1 of a new internet marketing training course and would greatly appreciate feedback. So, here's the entire lesson, no registration or payment required: Lesson 1: Internet Marketing Basics & Conversation Marketing [HTML version] Lesson 1: Internet Marketing Basics & Conversation Marketing [Podcast Version] Biggest questions on my mind: Would anyone pay for access to this stuff? Can I launch with 5-8 lessons and add more later? Will my voice suck out your will to live, leaving you a dried carcass by the side of the road? (I swear I'll put more feeling into it…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Training Course, Lesson 1 - Feedback please »
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March 28, 2008 by ian
My Internet Marketing List of last week got one heck of a response - 22,000 unique visitors in 3 days. Even though most of you losers didn't subscribe to my RSS feed, it gave my limp, damp ego a nice boost. In the interest of beating a good idea to death, I bring you the Dark Side of that list. 49 things you really should not do in your internet marketing campaign (but I'll bet you are): Have a useless Flash intro on your site. HAH. I'll bet you thought I'd pull that after some of you told me I…
Continue Reading The Internet Marketing Unlist: 49 Things You Probably Are Doing But Shouldn't »
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March 26, 2008 by ian
No, we're not. Yes, CNET just cut 10% of their workforce. And we're seeing far too much of that lately. But before I go outside and commit hari kari with a USB thumb drive, let's get a little perspective. CNET's problems are a valuable lesson in internet marketing, but don't run for the hills just yet. A comparison with their competitors shows this has been in the offing for a while, and it has nothing to do with the economy. It's about their strategy. CNET got bloated CNET cut 120 jobs. That's 10% of their workforce. To publish an online…
Continue Reading CNET Cuts Staff 10%. We're All DOOOOOOMMMMEED!!!! »
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March 24, 2008 by ian
Google Analytics now has their nifty benchmarking feature all set up. If you're running Google Analytics you can see how your site traffic compares to others. First, here's how you set it up, and why you should: Open Your Kimono, Just a Little First, you have to give Google access to your analytics data. "OH MY GOD," you say, "THAT'S CRAZY. Let a giant software and internet company have access to my data?!! Forget it." Do it. Strictly speaking, Google already has all of this data. They're not going to share your specific numbers with your competitors. That'd be stupidity…
Continue Reading Google Analytics Benchmarking: Tutorial, and Things that Make You Go Hmmmmm... »
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March 21, 2008 by ian
Internet marketing is about lots of little things, not one big one. This list is half-list, half-procedure. If you go down these items in order it might give you a decent internet marketing plan for the next few months. If you have others, post ’em as comments: If you have a Flash introduction on your web site, delete it. If you don’t agree, try this: Shove your head into a bucket of water. Stay in there, not breathing, for 10 seconds longer than is comfortable. That’s what you’re doing to your customers. Delete it, please. Check the load speed of…
Continue Reading The Internet Marketing List: 59 Things You Should Be Doing But Probably Aren't »
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March 17, 2008 by ian
I was listening to Joseph Jaffe's most recent podcast and one concept blew me away: Old-style marketing was about interruption. No news flash there. But Jaffe's statement that marketing is now about discoverability really resonates: You must be present at the customers' convenience and request, not screaming at them 24/7.You must answer their questions when they ask, not when they happen to be watching TV.And you'd better give them an easy way to ask further questions. You could say internet marketing is like a good (gasp) conversation. A good conversation is between two willing participants. A bad one has one…
Continue Reading Internet Marketing Is About Discoverability (Not Yelling) »
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March 16, 2008 by ian
Friday, someone told me it's hard to convince folks they need to use multivariate testing in their internet marketing campaigns. Once my mouth closed, I decided to write this post. What Multivariate Testing Is If you already know, you can skip down to why you need it, below. I can't define it without twisting my own brain in a knot, so I'm going to use an example, instead. Say I have a landing page. On this page, I want to test the headline, the body copy, and maybe how I link to the product sample: You can see the actual…
Continue Reading Multivariate Testing: What it Is, Why You Need It »
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March 14, 2008 by ian
Sometimes I forget to remind folks: I wrote an internet marketing book. It only costs $19.95. Yes, you can read it online for free. But for less than $20 you get the feel of crisp, recycled paper and the smell of printer's ink. And the warm fuzzy feeling that you helped keep Conversation Marketing afloat. Click here to buy it.…
Continue Reading Conversation Marketing: The Book (buy it!) »
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March 11, 2008 by ian
When you go to a conference and present, you have a responsibility to give accurate advice or admit you can't. That's called professional responsibility. Especially in a relatively new field like search engine optimization. I really enjoyed SEMPDX, and recommend it to everyone. All of the presentations were great. With one exception. What Went Wrong The day started with a one-hour 'SEO Crash Course'. The audience included total beginners as well as experts. Many folks were clearly hanging on the presenter's every word, writing and typing frantically as she spoke. With that attention comes responsibility: The presenter agreed, implicitly, that…
Continue Reading A 'Crash Course' on SEO Ethics and Responsibility »
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March 7, 2008 by ian
OK Rand, it's time to join the Mac-erati. Danny Sullivan bought a Mac. Now it's your turn. Here's why: The Mac is stylish. It'll go with your keen fashion sense. It's a better computer (doh, I wasn't going to say that). You'll be able to drive Danny crazy by refusing to put stickers on your laptop. To make things easier, we're taking up a collection. If everyone in the search community donates $2 we can buy you a nice rig. Here's what we'll get you: Note that we're including Parallels, so that you can still get your Windows fix. Everyone,…
Continue Reading Help Rand Fishkin Join the MACerati »
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March 7, 2008 by ian
All 3 major search engines now have local search results, and they mix them right into the normal ranking pages. That's wreaked havoc with many businesses that previously had the top spot for something like 'seattle internet marketing' (ahem) but suddenly found themselves buried underneath a map and a list of local companies: In this example, my years of hard work getting Portent the top organic ranking for 'seattle internet marketing' just got pushed down the page by a map. Even worse, since my company is south of Seattle's downtown core (see the letter D all alone on that map?),…
Continue Reading Local Search Optimization 101: Get Found »
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March 5, 2008 by ian
If you're spending money on pay per click marketing, you must buy your brand name! Ignore those who say otherwise. Make damned sure you're bidding on the name, mispellings, and the like. Even if you rank #1 for your own name. Do it anyway. Here's why: It's cheap. PPC engines' quality scoring algorithms mean you're likely to get the best deal on your own company and product names. That translates to lower bids. It's insurance. If you slip from the organic rankings for a day or two, your paid ranking will maintain your presence. Chances are, someone else has your…
Continue Reading Defend Yourself: Bid On Your Brand Name in PPC »
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February 29, 2008 by ian
I just realized I’m a hobbit by profession. I re-read The Hobbit (for the 6th or 7th time). For those who haven’t read it, the hero is an intrepid hobbit named Bilbo Baggins. He travels with a band of dwarves to slay a dragon named Smaug. Bilbo keeps his compatriots honest. He risks life, limb and the wrath of his employers (the dwarves) because he knows they’ve made a bad choice. Most important, he helps keep the dwarves, elves and men from killing each other, and keeps everyone focused on the mission. Developers are like dwarves. They make cool stuff…
Continue Reading Handier Than Hobbits: Why You Need An Internet Marketing Pro »
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February 22, 2008 by ian
Google Analytics, Omniture, WebSideStory and other major analytics packages use tagging. They're all worth spit if you don't take advantage of it. This week I've had three clients nearly pop blood vessels over improper tagging by their teams. I thought a practical tutorial might be in order. Why? Without tagging, the software can't accurately track performance of paid search ads, banners and other forms of online advertising. Some of you are already warming up your keyboard to leave me a snippy comment about how clueless I am. Google Adwords, of course, now uses auto-tagging. It's one exception, I know about…
Continue Reading Google Analytics Tagging Demystified »
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