11 ways to be a schmuck

November 19, 2009 by in Internet Marketing Strategy

schmuck.gif

  1. Use Twitter auto-follow tools.
  2. Cut other people down.
  3. Sell products you know are crappy.
  4. Don’t take advice. Ever.
  5. WRITE E-MAILS IN ALL CAPS.
  6. Misuse words. Amelioratingly.
  7. Latch onto one idea and don’t let go. Two legs good, four legs baaaaad.
  8. Whatever you do, never admit you’re wrong.
  9. Whatever you do, never stop reminding others of their mistakes.
  10. Let fear rule your marketing.
  11. Sell to the loophole, not the customer.

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8 Responses to “11 ways to be a schmuck”

  1. Michael Hartzell November 20, 2009 at 10:00 pm #

    I have recently put your blog on my regular reading list…. and a link on my resource page. The best part is I have been wanting to learn how to be a schmuck and bragged about your post and my schmuck plan.
    Appreciate what you offer…
    the temporary schmuck. :)

    Reply
  2. Gaston November 21, 2009 at 8:21 am #

    Unfortunately, there are many millions of persons in our society who have not learned to write well.
    That being the case, I am conflicted.
    On the one hand, I fully agree that writing which displays a lack of education or appreciation for proper grammar or style can be annoying, the alternative for these people would be either to return to high school or not express themselves at all.
    I don’t think the latter is going to be acceptable any time soon. And, the former is probably not an option either.
    So, what we have is a dilemma.
    “Schmuck” is a term I am loathe to apply to persons guilty of less than perfect expression.

    Reply
  3. Dena: Scrap Metal Buyers NJ November 21, 2009 at 5:34 pm #

    Short, sweet, to the point.
    Frankly, I think schmuck covers it.

    Reply
  4. Tim Mcpherson November 23, 2009 at 4:51 am #

    Hi, my name is Stephen Pierce, the World’s #1 Internet Wealth Advocate and you may have seen me on FOX News, NBC News, ABC News, CBS, DayTime, Daystar or heard me interviewed on ABC News Radio or Bloomberg Business Radio and other major network TV stations and cable shows radio programs.

    Reply
  5. Robert Gorell November 23, 2009 at 6:46 am #

    “Sell to the loophole, not the customer.”
    SO true…

    Reply
  6. Ryan Waggoner November 23, 2009 at 4:42 pm #

    You could write a whole post on #11 :)

    Reply
  7. William Anderson November 30, 2009 at 1:44 pm #

    fantastic!
    just found your blog while reading fred wilson’s blog, which lead me to read the blog post comments, which lead me to portentinteractive.com, which landed me here.
    #4 does it for me.

    Reply
  8. Karen Pledging for Change September 5, 2010 at 11:28 am #

    Another one to add to your schmuck list … Have a couple of glasses of wine then go chat to people… duh That’s very schmucky and a BIG no no :-)
    You could write a whole post on any of the schmuck categories really Ryan :-)

    Reply